Let’s talk about getting what you want. No matter who you are, and no matter the role model who has showed you the way, successful people getting what they want share at least three qualities. These qualities cited by Bandler and Grinder are a belief system, mental syntax, and physiology.
Belief system is believing that you can attain that position or perform that activity. Think about any US president—they have to know and see the image of themselves as a president clearly in their mind. There’s a story about Walt Disney’s brother Roy and Walt’s wife Lillian standing in front of Disney World. Roy said, “oh, I wish Walt was here to see this.” When Lillian spoke, she said, “If Walt didn’t see it, we would not be here.” That’s belief.
Mental syntax is how you talk to yourself. Walt Disney didn’t say to himself, “oh, I can’t make this movie happen” or “this is a dumb drawing of a mouse.” He was more likely to say, “this mouse is an interesting character, how can I animate that character, … I like this aspect, how can I improve upon it, what details do I need to pay attention to .…” It’s talking in positive terms that build upon each other.
Physiology is how we breath, how loud we speak, the tone of our voice, and how we hold ourselves. Do you think Disney walked around with his shoulders slumped down and inward? I don’t think so. He likely walked around with a smile on his face, his shoulders back, attentive eyes, and an engaging body language. To be a leader in your life you need to walk and talk like one.
As I write this, I’m aware that these are three things that don’t require another person and that you can in this moment, start setting the stage to get what you want. I invite you to get what you want in your life—its late in the day for all of us!
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